Our friend in the UK reports:
I just thought I would give those of you planning a UC in the UK an update on the birth registration process:
My husband booked an appointment with the birth registrar 2 weeks after the birth notification was submitted. They gave an option of registering at the Birth Registration Office or the local NHS hospital which was closer.
We decided it would be better to go to the registration office since we don't feel it is really the role of a hospital to be registering the birth and didn't want to be in that environment where they may ask more questions about the child's health than is needed to register the birth.
So, my husband went to the registration office and was asked the usual general questions. He brought with him a copy of the birth notification that the private midwife submitted who visited us after the birth.
They telephoned the local NHS hospital to see whether they "knew about the baby". They did not because the birth notification was not forwarded to them. This meant that our daughter did not have an NHS number assigned to her before the registration which is now the common practice. The registrar and the NHS spoke on the telephone while my husband was in the room.
The NHS representative asked questions through the registrar like "how many times has the midwife seen your daughter?" to which my husband responded "many" even though it was only once (didn't want to set them into a panic). They asked if the baby had been seen since birth by a health professional to which my husband replied "yes". They also asked "are you registered with a GP?" to which my husband responded "we've just moved to the area and hadn't selected a GP yet though we do have one in our old city". They asked no further questions but stated that we "must register with a GP to get the NHS number" and left it at that.
We have not registered with a GP and have heard nothing further.
Two business days after registering the birth, we received a telephone message from our assigned Health Visitor stating who she was and saying she heard we had a new baby and wanted to come and visit in 3 hours (how rude is that?!).
I decided I would ring her back (note that I called her instead of my husband because if husbands call they sometimes think they are wrongly shielding their wives who really want their services). I telephoned her. She immediately launched into questions without asking whether or not we wanted her services.
She asked questions such as "have you always lived there?" I answered no. She realized that this was our second child and asked questions about our first "what address was your first daughter born?" I told her. "What is your daughter's date of birth?" I told her. She strangely asked "Is your daughter at school?" I answered no. She then asked "Is your daughter's name down on a school list to start school?" I answered "no". She then asked "Is your daughter at nursery school?" I answered "no". It is not a legal requirement for a child to begin education until they are 5. However, I didn't like that line of questioning so moved her on.
She then asked whether she could come around today. I answered "Thank you for offering but we seek all care privately and as such do not require your services". She said "Oh, um, oh, um... I'm speechless". Then she proceeded along the usual lines of "What kind of private care do you seek?" I responded with "Any kind that is required... midwifery, medical (I didn't say alternative because then they like to label you a freak). Of course they try to ask what you would do today if something happened. I simply keep to the line of "I seek private care" and do not get into specifics (none of their business).
She asked how I was feeling to which I optimistically responded "Absolutely wonderful. Couldn't be better. This whole experience has been so easy and the birth was wonderful. I was out playing in the snow with my older daughter the very next day. I had a wonderful quick painless birth!". This means she doesn't have to worry about PND.
She asked whether my older daughter had any well baby checks and I said "yes, the usual GP visits" (she reluctantly suffered one GP visit at 6 weeks old to get the State off my back but I would have said so anyway).
Finally, she asked whether I would write to them declining their services. I said "yes" but that is not a legal requirement and so unless they pay me for my time, I have decided not to waste my time.
I do not know whether I shall hear from them again but at this stage it seems like I have successfully rejected their services. I did not like answering their questions and felt it was none of their business but there has to be a balance for if you seem too evasive, that can tick them off enough to put the spotlight on you, so you need to try to give them as little information as possible without making yourself seem evasive.
One good thing to do is set up a free telephone number that goes straight to voicemail and then forwards to your email. This way, you get to prepare and call them back rather than being put on the spot. If you can't do this and they call just say you're in the middle of something and will call them back when you're finished.
