Anna's Birth of Alya

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I'd been thinking about it during my whole pregnancy. My husband thought I was crazy. My mother kept telling me the story of how a nurse noted to her after she gave birth to me, "It seems you are going to pass away, better I call doc". My MIL tried to explain to me how nice and easy my delivery would be if I go to hospital and how doctors would be there for me anytime I needed them. But I didn't need them, I didn't need anyone but God. I wished it to happen, I prayed to God and it happened! My baby daughter was not born in a hospital, nor did anyone attend her birth, there was no one there but me, my baby and God Almighty. She was born at home as I silently wished and prayed God to happen.

So, here is the story.

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On Tuesday morning we went to the doctor and he found that I was 2cm dilated, the head of the baby was engaged and he said that she would be born within 24-48 hours. He told me to come to hospital when I started to have contractions every ten minutes.

We went home and in the afternoon I started to feel some contractions. They were not really painful, just an uncomfortable feeling in the lower part of my back - it felt as if my bones and muscles were pushed from inside. In the evening contractions became a bit harder and I could not hide the pain of them from my husband. He got excited and said that maybe next day I would have the baby. Well, at night contractions just disappeared. But next morning they started again, more painful, but strangely they were more apart from each other, then the day before. Still, I could easily bear them, I only had to rub my back with each contraction to take away the pain.

Another day passed. We went to sleep. I was woken up at two o'clock at night by a very strong contraction. I went to kitchen to drink some juice. And then I felt that I couldn't sit down, I had to walk. It was not in my hands to do anything - I had to walk. I started walking from corner to corner in the kitchen, drinking juice from time to time. I tried to time contractions - they were coming each five minutes and lasted for about 30-40 seconds. I knew it was time to go to hospital, but I didn't want to and I actually couldn't because I couldn't stop walking. My husband woke up in the morning and was surprised to find me walking in the kitchen. He asked if I wanted to go to hospital, but I told him that it was impossible, at least now, because I couldn't stop walking and I couldn't imagine how I would sit in a car. Then suddenly I noticed that my belly kind of dropped down. It was around seven o'clock in the morning. Contractions became unbearably strong and were coming very often. I felt that something was pushing all my pelvis and tail bone from within. I went to bathroom, feeling that I needed to go to toilet. Well, I found I could not sit down on a toilet. I started walking in the bathroom. I knew it was close, the baby was so low, I felt her kicking me somewhere very low down in my stomach.

My husband asked me if I needed anything, I just moaned something wishing that he would leave me alone. He said that he was going to work for an hour and then he would come back right away. He left, and I still was walking from wall to wall - two steps forward, two steps back, without stop. I couldn't stop. I kept calling God while walking, asking Him for support. My water started leaking. Then suddenly the bag of water broke and I just fell down on all fours and found myself pushing like crazy. It was really painful, but I could not stop myself from doing it. It was an overwhelming, unbelievably strong desire to push. Just few pushes and I felt her head crowning. Tears came to my eyes. Suddenly, the pushing desire vanished and I started panting like dog, again, it was not something I thought to do, it was some kind of instinct, some power that made me do those things, I couldn't control anything, my body was dictating me what to do. Her head moved very slowly out. I wanted to speed it up for it hurt a lot, but my body did not let me push, it made me pant. And I was panting and crying while baby's head was coming out. And then suddenly, her head was out and all her body slipped out of me, I caught her in my hands and immediately she cried quietly . I took her under my nightdress, weeping, saying something to her. I tried nurse her, I cannot remember if she did. While sitting on a bathroom floor holding my baby on my stomach under nightgown I felt something started to move out of me. I looked down and found that it was placenta. It came out without single contraction. I put it into a plastic bowl and went out to call my husband . I guess, I shocked him - I just told him - come home, your baby is here. It took him less then ten minutes to come home. He was excited, shocked, and didn't know what to do. I told him to cut the cord, but then we started to think that probably there was no need to do so. We decided just to go to hospital to cut the cord there.

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At hospital they looked at me as a hero, doctor said to me "bravo". No one could believe that my baby was born unassisted at home, and just half an hour ago. The baby was fine. They forgot to weigh her though, I guess because of the shock . Then they took me to examine if there were any pieces of placenta left inside. The procedure was so painful, I begged them to stop and tried to take doctor's arm away from me, but nurses held me. Then I don't know what happened to me, I found myself suddenly kicking the doctor with my leg. He was thrown back by my kick and fell on a standing lamp behind him. Well, I was not sorry, although I said "sorry" No one asked him to hurt me. I should say the whole birthing process didn't hurt as much as he hurt me just in that few minutes while moving his hand inside me. Anyway, in spite of this examination I found after few days a piece of placenta which came out.

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Throughout pregnancy I was praying to God Almighty to arrange things so that Alya was born at home, while there was no one there. I told God that let happen what would be best for me and my daughter - well, in God's opinion birthing at home alone was the best for both of us. Let people say that I am crazy, thoughtless, strange, or whatever, but I know one thing - it is God who created our bodies, He designed them being able to give birth to our babies. But it is doctors who made the process of birth as kind of disease that must be treated. They made us - women think that our bodies are not able to do the job without them. Do they think that they are better then God? I doubt doctor's ability to help birthing woman, but I have no doubt about God. I put my trust in God, I trusted my body, I trusted God, I believed that my body is designed by our Creator and it was perfect to give birth quietly without anyone interfering. And it was so. I couldn't wish my daughter's birth to be better then it was.

Now when I am pregnant with a second child, I turn my prayers to God Almighty and seek His guidance and help and I pray to Him that my second child is born just the same way Alya was born.

All praise be to God, the most merciful, the beneficent.

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