I was so excited when I found out I was pregnant with our first child. Being a mom was my life-long dream and in a few short months it would finally be coming true! My pregnancy was not pleasant but I took everything in stride. I suffered mornin sickness until my third trimester, at which point I traded nasea for high blood pressure. I ended up on bed rest and was induced one week before my due date.

I showed up at the hospital at 6AM for my induction, and the pitocin was started at 7. At the time I was already one cm dialted and about 90% effaced. I was required to be laying on my side, and after an hour, the pitocin induced contractions had me doubling over in pain in the bed. Finally at 9AM my Dr. allowed me to have an epidural even though I was only 3 cm. He told me it would slow me down, but that he was ok with the pain meds.

I felt immediate relief which lasted for several hours. Then the nightmare began. The contractions began to hurt again, and even though the nurse said she didn't think the pitocen needed increased again, she did because the Dr. ordered it. When the nurses changed shifts, the new nurse didn't believe me when I told her the baby was really low and she refused to let me have any sips of water. I was required to keep an oxygen mask on my mouth was terribly dry. At 3:50 the nurse calmly suggested that I could start trying to push. This was when I discovered that the epidural had not numbed anything but my legs. I felt burning pain and cired out over and over while I pushed.

The nurses kept demanding that I hold my breath and count to 10, but I couldn't hold the pushes for that long. The Dr. required me to have my feet in stirups, but I ended up pushing against the stirups with my feet. The blood pressure cuff attached to my arm kept checking my BP, but malfunctioned and tightened down without releasing the pressure. When the nurse finally realized what I meant by my screams to releave the pressure on my arm, she hit a button which only worked for a moment. Finally my DH removed the cuff, which in the flurry of birth the nurse didn't realize until afterwards, at which point I got a lecture.

I only pushed for 20 minutes before my daughter came sliding out, but the Dr. still cut me. I felt every stitch afterwards becuase the epidural wasn't working and he acted oblivious to my cries.

The birth experience was "amazing" to my mother, but painful, confusing and anything but amazing for me. I was out of control, the medical professionals caring for me did not listen to me, and only by the grace of God did everything turn out as well as it did with a healthy beautiful baby girl. As we look forward to our second child being born, I am determined to do things differently. There has to be more to birthing than my first experience.