When I got pregnant with my first daughter, it was fairly unexpected, but desired no less. However, at the time, I was young and naive. I started going to the doctor, as every "normal" pregnant lady does, getting routine "checks", ultrasounds, and tests. I attempted to take any and all advice from every well meaning individual. This "conventional" pregnancy, was followed by a "conventional" birth. Once I realized I was in labor, we "rushed" to the hospital (though really the driver/ex's mom- insisted on going 5 miles under the speed limit, after taking over an hour to "get ready") I got my monitors, IV, epidural, episiotomy, and I'm not really sure what other routine procedures done.
I recall not seeing my daughter for 2 hours following her birth, her spending tons of time in the nursery, while I was all alone in my cell-like hospital room. not being able to nurse right after birth, and getting scolded for sleeping with my daughter in my bed.
Looking back, the experience horrifies me, along with many others. when me and my husband started attempting to conceive, I started looking into pregnancy/birth options. I quickly turned to midwife assisted home births, and decided thats what I wanted once we were successful. then, success!
So. Now I'm pregnant, in a state where CPM's (certified professional midwifes are the ones to typically attend homebirths) are not recognized and are illegal.
So, I'm exploring the internet, and various forums, to find out what I can about obtaining a midwife in North Carolina. Somehow in this process I discovered UC (unassisted childbirth) and wanted to find out more about it.
I searched the Carteret/Craven/Pamlico library database, and discovered that they had Laura Shanley's book "Unassisted Childbirth" at the New Bern branch, so I decided to request it. After receiving the book, and starting to read it, I began to get leads to midwifes, some "lay", some no longer practicing, some that worked under doctors in hospitals. after reading her book, i continued to do research online, regarding UC. it wasnt long after that i decided to cease my search for a midwife and "go it alone". Lucky for me, I have a terribly supportive husband who has more confidence in me than I've ever had in myself.i also found myself fortunate enough to have a very encouraging, supportive small circle of friends who totally believed in me, and were ready to do all they could to help me achieve the birth i dreamed of.
i continued to learn more and more through the following months, several people dug through their personal libraries loaning me numerous, wonderfully informative books. (ina may's being the most memorable) Through all of this i learned about various complications and potential concerns, along with how to deal with them, or when to seek medical attention, it wasnt long before i completely believed that i could do this.
i took optimum care of myself. and continued to read and encourage myself. throughout my pregnancy, i never saw a doctor, i became more in touch with my body, and what was going on with it, than ever before in my life. i learned to not only listen, but also speak to it.
based on my last menstrual period, and estimated cycle length, i calculated my due date to be january 19th, 2008.
the evening of january 20th, a friend came over to attempt some reflexology to possibly get labor going. i went to bed that night completely relaxed only to be awakened sometime after 5am on january 21st with a terrible headache and profuse sweating. i got out of bed and ran myself a warm bath, as i had touted this as my new pain relief method. while lying in the bath i began to notice a few mild rushes (contractions), being that throughout my pregnancy, i had very few dealings with "braxton hicks", i questioned any and every rush. it was after the fifth one, that i knew, today was the day, so i got out of the tub, and went back to bed, hoping to get some rest before things got more intense. as if i could sleep with all the excitement and anticipation running through me, the intensity of the rushes lying down were enough to keep me up. so around 8:30am i woke my husband, hes not typically the easiest person to wake up, i believe i said something to the affect of "im going to have a baby" and he responded "right now?!", so i said "not right NOW, but in the near future." he then asked how i knew. so i attempted to explain. after a little grunting he got up and was ready to play servant (ah hahaha). at this point i got back in the tub, because the rushes were so much more magnified in the bed, i needed to relax again. with not much rest and a likely long day ahead, i wanted to keep myself calm for as long as possible.
my husband set up the birthing area in our bedroom floor using a sheet of plastic, topped with a bed sheet. i continued to get in and out of the tub, and really started loathing the fact that it was so tiny. at some point, i was in the living room and my husband asked if i wanted him to bring the birthing area to the living room, i didnt really care, and im not sure what i said, but he did it. the rushes were getting more and more intense, though i couldnt sense a regularity to them, some were mild, some were not, some would have breaks of 4-7 minutes, others would be almost right after the last, but the overall intensity was increasing, i knew it was only a matter of time.
it was probably around 9am that i lost my "show"
i just kept alternating settings to get myself through each one. id walk, id sit in the tub, id get on all 4, id brace my husband or a wall.
it wasnt long before i was in my "birthing area" set up over and in front of the couch, bearing through each rush. i began to think more and more of all i read and all i knew. of all the women before me. i kept thinking to myself "itll be over soon, just make it through this"
as things intensified i got really nauseous, im not sure if it was the anxiety, excitement, pressure, or a combination of any of these. i made sure to eat some toast earlier, but now it all came up, along with dinner im sure. i continued to drink water, more as an attempt to keep myself occupied and relaxed. it wasnt long before i was crouched over the couch, spending my time napping/making it through the rushes. they were really intense by now, and i knew it wouldnt be long. i had my husband first rub my lower back to help me focus the energy in my uterus. it was in this period of more intense "labor" that my water broke. my husband was very eager to do anything he could to help, at some point when the rushes became less tolerable, i heeded ina may's advice, and told him to "rub my boobs", it wasnt long before i started to get a "push" sensation. my husband, i think knowing this was a lot of peoples concern (knowing when to push) asked something to the effect of if i wanted him to check my cervix. (note that he had no education on checking the dilation). i told him if he wanted to he could, but it didnt matter to me. so he "checked" i asked what it was like. he said "it feels normal" so i told him not to worry about it, then gradually went into pushing, the first couple times, kinda easy, just to give me something to concentrate the energy of the rushes on, and to prepare myself. this worked nicely, so as i felt the pressure increase, i pushed harder, and instructed my husband to get ready because "its coming". i felt her head emerge, but asked him to confirm that her head was out. he confirmed it, so i told him to wait. the worst was over, i just had to wait for another rush so i could get the body out and we could hold her and see, that it was a her. and all of that. so the next rush came, and i pushed her body out. my husband told me it was a girl, and asked if i wanted to hold her. he had the most elated look on his face ive ever seen.
following this i held her, we made a half hearted attempt to suck her nose out, i began to nurse, and he went on to wiping her off. i asked him the time, he estimated her birth for 10:15am.
we really wanted to leave her attached to the placenta lotus style. but as we were waiting for the placenta to be delivered there was a piece of afterbirth hanging out of my vagina, and being that me and my husband both had little knowledge of what exactly the placenta looked like, mostly my husband, as i couldnt see what was going on down there all that well. so we assumed it was the placenta(and that it was ruptured) and decided to sever the cord, so my husband proceeded to boil a shoestring and scissors.
after cutting the cord we discovered that wasnt the placenta at all, as it had yet to emerge, but it was eventually delivered, in tact. and her cord stump fell off 2 and a half days later.
after days of deliberation we finally agreed on some names, and she was dubbed dorothy emelia.
jes
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