My sister in law got in very late Thursday night, my step mother, Connie, came out early on Friday morning. Since nothing was happening at all she made plans to take my youngest one, and go to a family reunion 4 hours away. I had plans to go to the movies Friday evening and see Austin Powers III, this has been part of the plan all along, since I saved Austin Powers II to watch when I was in labor with Jay, got frustrated, ran everyone out of the house, fixed the soup I was saving for labor, made a comfy little nest on the couch and put in APII, half way through the movie I went into hard active labor. It is sort of a family tradition now.

Anyway, Kirk had some work to do in Raleigh, so he went in, Connie had the baby and my wonderful sister in law was entertaining the older two boys. I crawled up on the love seat with a tuna sandwich and put on the Birth Day Marathon on Discovery Health Channel, and around 2ish I noticed I was having contractions.

The contractions got really close together in a very short time. And by 4 I was getting very uncomfortable, but still not sure I was in labor. I had started to not get excited by contractions, as I had had several LOOONG bouts of that latent stuff that always started around early afternoon, and always petered out around bedtime.

At 4:30 I decided to get into the bath tub, thinking that if the contractions spaced out then I could be sure it was not really labor, the contractions were coming every 3 minutes, they did space out to every 5 minutes but didn't lessen in intensity. I felt my cervix during a contraction before getting in and I could feel the babies head TIGHTLY pressed against my cervix, and the sac was not bulging as it had been the evening before but was very taut.

I called my husband and told him to start making his way home, I was very casual about it. I hadn’t even mentioned to my sister in law that I was having contractions at all.

I got into the tub, and relaxed a bit more. Decided to shave my pits and legs between contractions, and that was how it happened literally… shave one leg, have a contraction… shave the other… have a contraction. I wasn’t moaning through them but I was having to modify my breathing to cope with the intensity.

After shaving I decided to take a shower and wash my hair. I had dreamed that I was supposed to have my hair braided during labor, I know it has something to do with keeping my medicine within myself, but it was a dream I never fully understood. I was squatting in the tub adjusting the water for the shower when a particularly strong contraction hit. I leaned forward on to my hands and knees and at the peak of the contraction POP! My water broke. The contractions were sooo much less intense once my water broke, but I just knew this was it, for real this time. I called my hubby back told him to HAUL ASS, and called my step mother and told her to turn around It was 5:10.

My last labor was 4 hours from the time my water broke. Connie was up on the other side of Richmond, little over 2 hours away. Kirk was on the other side of Raleigh, but it was the beginning of rush hour traffic. I was NOT happy that I had all this preparation stuff to do and I had to do it all by myself.

My SIL tried to help best she could, but it was really just what I needed for her to care for the boys and let me go about what I needed to do. Several times during the set up phase of things, getting the hoses and pool set up, the video camera and such… I cussed Kirk heartily. I some how knew that I was going to labor by myself, I had dreamed that I labored and birthed the baby alone, and that is pretty much how it happened.

Once I got the pool set up, I got back into the bath tub. I talked on the phone to my friends Michielle, the wonderful woman who attended my birth with Jay, and Beth and Randy who live in Kansas. It was comforting and distracting to maintain conversations in between contractions.

I got into the birth pool, which was a little cooler than I had wanted, but felt soooooo nice anyway, around 5:45. I so loved being buoyant during and between contractions. These contractions were only painful if I tried to talk, or do anything else but relax during them. I tried hands and knees, that SUCKED, I just reverted to what worked when I was in labor with Jay and that was reclining against the side of the pool.

I was slightly annoyed that the camera wasn’t ready, that my candles weren’t lit, that my music wasn’t on, I had it all planned down to the precise moment. I quickly found that all that fluff really doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things.

In talking to my friend Beth, who commented that I sounded more like I was having an orgasm during a contraction than in pain, I found that changing my tone during the contractions from deep guttural growls to lighter breathier vocal sighs, I relaxed much more and the contractions didn’t seem so intense.

I labored physically alone, but emotionally connected to my closest friends via the telephone line until about 6:30. My mother in law called to check on things. She was ranting that she wanted a call when the baby came no matter what time it was, I just blurted out, “well call you in about 15 minutes!”. I told my SIL to station my son by the door to tell his dad to hurry when he got in the drive way.

At 6:45 she came in and squatted by the pool, and asked me if I thought the baby was coming soon… Just then I had a contraction, at the peak of which I just started pushing like crazy. I told her to look down and she gasped OH MY GOD. There was the top of the baby's head, again birthed the crown, down to about the ears just like I did Jay.

Just then my husband came sprinting through the house tearing his clothes off and he jumped into the pool in his skivvies, my 6 year old on his heels. With the next contraction I pushed like crazy again, totally out of my control or even realm of comprehension. The rest of her head popped out. Kirk felt cord around her neck, sort of tight so I told him to gently tug a little slack in it, he did and slipped it over her head. He didn’t feel any more. I asked him to feel the cord, and see if it was pulsing, and it was, so we all relaxed.

With the next contraction I pushed hard hard hard, but her shoulders didn’t seem to want to come out. She was so tight in there and I could feel that both shoulders were straining to come out at the same time. I instinctively scrambled my feet up under me, keeping my bottom under the water and in the squat pushed very hard and she finally popped out. Kirk helped her out and squealed WE HAVE A GIRL before she was even out of the water.

Even though I dreamed I gave birth by myself, and nearly did, I am glad my husband was there for the end. I'm afraid I might have panicked if her shoulders had been stuck and I had been here alone with Dawn and my son looking on. As it stands Dawn said she wasn’t really scared as we just seemed to KNOW what we were doing. I remember telling Kirk to try to get his finger under her anterior armpit to help pop it loose, but I don’t think he ever did till I actually pushed her shoulders free.

The baby pinked right up, and the cord was still pulsing (I checked). She was pretty slow to respond to anything, so I started really rubbing her back and head with my hands. Since the birth happened so fast every one of my birth supplies was still in the basket across the room. I instinctively sucked her mouth and nose with my mouth, and then she started to grimace and make noise.

She was breathing the whole time, I could see her back rising and falling, she just was very chilled out about the whole process and took her time perking up.

Once she perked up a bit I guess after about 5 minutes I decided to get out of the pool. Like I said before the water was pretty cool. I stood up to get out and the placenta just fell out.

I reached down and felt the cord, not pulsing, so I pinched it off with my fingers, thinking I had read somewhere that sometimes babies can transfuse backwards if the placenta is lower than the baby. I had thought during labor to toss the scissors and 2 pairs of hemostats I had bought "just in case" into boiling water. I told Kirk to run and grab them. We just clamped off the baby’s side, and put the placenta into the pan we had for it (it was actually an ice bucket with a lid, swiped from one of the hotels he stayed in during my pregnancy).

Once I stepped out of the pool blood was really running down my legs so I sat down on a pile of under pads on the end of the bed. I called Michielle to see which remedies I should use, and snipped a piece of placenta off with the scissors, and put it under my tongue. I thought I would be really grossed out by it, but really it just tasted like blood, sort of like if you cut your finger and stick it in your mouth.

After about 3 minutes I chewed it up and swallowed it. I alternated the homeopathic remedy and the placenta for about 15 minutes while attempting to get the baby to latch on. Once she latched on I started contracting and the blood slowed wayyyy down.

I sat there for another 15 till I was feeling like it stopped, then I got up and into the shower and cleaned up real quick, put on my lovely bed jacket that Lisa had made me and crawled up into MY bed. I had bought some really nice washable underpads, which were dreamy compared to the plastic backed disposable ones.

I nursed the baby 4 times in the first hour after the birth, and cramped SOOOOO bad. The after pains were excruciating compared to the labor contractions, I screamed at Kirk to get me some FUCKING pain pills, now that I can take it again. It helped a little, but ultimately I know that the afterpains are essential to stopping the bleeding. I did pretty vigorous belly massage this time too, just to be sure that everything was doing what it should. It usually takes a mama only once to bleed to learn not to take it too lightly, I bled twice.

I did not bleed bad this time at all. I am so glad I did what was necessary to be prepared this time. I think had her cord not been around her neck my placenta would have stayed put, I think when he tugged on the cord he may have partially detached the placenta.

Regardless, neither of us would have done a single thing differently, except maybe I should have called Kirk and Connie when I suspected I was in labor. I think part of me really wanted to do it alone. I was feeling so strong, empowered and safe, I just wanted it to stay that way. I know that neither of them would have messed with me, I probably could have locked myself in the bathroom and let them handle the details and just come out and got in the pool when it was ready, but ultimately I really just wanted peace and quiet, little activity or anything. I got exactly what I wanted and needed.

A couple of hours after her birth, we noticed that the baby’s lips were a little blue, so we treated her with a remedy, and I called a midwife friend of mine just to double check that we had done everything correctly. Her hands and feet were pink, and her lips pinked up whenever she was nursing, so we all just suspected she was chilly. I just wrapped her in another blanket and watched her all night and by morning she was perfect.

There is something about the vigilant mama mode that you go into, I tried to sleep off and on, but ultimately I just couldn’t settle down enough. It is such an instinctive thing.

I think that maybe I wouldn’t have planned to birth the way I did, I think everything happened exactly how it needed to happen. It was a perfect birth. I know one thing more than I did last time and that is that I am stronger than even I know, and that doing this alone was absolutely how it should have been.

I know that I am capable of anything.

Today, a little over a week later, she is nursing every 2-3 hours, her color is great. She is very alert and makes eye contact with those talking to her, and she smiles all the time. Many people say that babies that young don't smile, but mine do.

I feel like my family is complete. I must have known when I conceived her that she was the girl my heart was longing for because from the very moment I knew I was pregnant this time I knew it would be the last time. I am so happy, and so content. Life IS good.