We woke up Saturday morning. Kirk and I planned to go run a few last minute errands to prepare for the birth, and to go to the Rainforest exhibit at the Cleveland Metroparks Zoo. It is an indoor exhibit, which has lots of walking, including stairs. I had been having contractions since Thursday evening, and bloody show all day Friday, so we were certain that the baby would be coming soon. Connie, my step mother, had made plans with my sister to take Danny and Kody swimming for the day at the Rec. Center, so we had all day to just spend together.
After running our errands, I made a quick change of plans, as my back was starting to ache, so rather than going to the Rainforest, we made arrangements to meet one of my chiropractors at her office, to get adjusted. We got finished with the adjustment around 3 in the afternoon, and we headed home for a bit of quiet time. I had picked up some flower remedies to treat the anxiety I was experiencing over the slow progress of the labor. I began taking them shortly before my adjustment. Once we got home, Kirk asked me if I minded if he went in to work to finish up some paperwork. The house was empty and quiet, and I was a bit tired, so I said go ahead. I made a little nest on the couch and settled in to watch Austin Powers 2. This was a good opportunity to relax and laugh out loud, and I took advantage of the kids being out. Kirk put on the Cheddar Cheese soup we were saving for labor food, since it looked like things were quieting down again. I told him we could just pick up more soup the next day. I ate, and watched the movie alone. It was very relaxing. I was still taking the flower remedies, and found myself finally resigned to relaxing and letting this baby come whenever s/he was ready. I felt better that couple of hours than I had in weeks.
I got up midway through the movie to go to the bathroom, and just as I sat down I felt a pop. A little fluid came out, but the pop felt like my pubic bone shifting, and the fluid was very little. I wasn't certain it was anything beside pressure incontinence, until about a minute later I had a contraction that raised me up off the toilet. The time was 5:45pm. I tried to ascertain if it was in fact my water that had broken, so by bearing down and catching some of the fluid in my hand I saw that it was pinkish in color. I was surprised that there was so little of it, but then again the baby's head was very low. After another contraction, I got up and walked around a bit. I put a pad on, but lost almost no fluid after the initial little bit. I walked around a little, and the contractions continued to come, about 3-4 minutes apart. The contractions themselves weren't especially painful, but the pressure in my backside was almost overwhelming.
After about 15 minutes or so, I washed my hands and sat back down on the toilet and checked my cervix. It was still pretty thick (about 50% effaced), Thursday evening when I asked my doctor to check it, just to confirm what my own evaluation was. When I checked it this time it was GONE! completely effaced, and about 5 centimeters dilated. I could feel a nice half dollar sized piece of the baby's head, pressed tightly against my cervix.
The contractions were getting quite intense, still mostly pressure, but since I had made so much progress in so few contractions I called Kirk at work to tell him to get his butt home now. I was a little intimidated by the thought of catching the baby myself, and alone. He said he was on his way, this was 6:10. I called my friend Sue, also a doula, to talk me through the contractions on the phone. She was great, and it helped to have something to focus on besides all that pressure. I hung up with her, and got up to walk around the house, made some last minute preparations, moved the portable stereo upstairs, got out the plastic sheet, moved the already inflated pool into place. The contractions were amazingly powerful. I immediately found my vocal focus, which was a very low moan. With each moan, I could feel strong surges of energy moving down my body, down my belly and focusing at the point of all that pressure in my backside.
At 6:30, my stepmother arrived home with the boys. It was a little emotionally overwhelming to go from no distraction to having these boys around me, I needed desperately to find a quiet place to focus, so I slipped out and over to my sister's house next door. I wanted to shower, but I knew if I used my shower at home I would not have any hot water to fill the pool with. I set up the hose, and ran it upstairs to the pool, and then slipped next door. My sister was just getting ready to go out for the evening, and my 15 year old niece was babysitting her girls. I slipped into the bathroom and got into the tub, and while it was quiet and somewhat relaxing, the tub was too small for me to move in at all, I felt confined and restricted, and also out of my element. Kirk came in and helped me through a couple of contractions, and I decided after about 4 contractions there I wanted to be at home. It was while Kirk was getting me a towel to dry off with I called my friend Michielle, who is a doula, to come. We went home and immediately I crawled onto my bed. I sat reclining on a huge pile of pillows, soles of my feet together and pulled in. This was the most comfortable position for me. Reclining seemed to provide some counterpressure on my backside so that I didn't get the urge to push as much.
Kirk and my step mother got busy hauling pot after pot of boiling water up the stairs to fill the pool. I felt bad that it was so much work to fill the pool, we didn't plan out the filling process as much as we probably should have. Michielle arrived around quarter after 8. She did a great job of helping me focus, and just holding space for me to feel comfortable that everything was going good. She had her 4 month old baby, Adrian with her. She just talked to me and nursed her baby the whole time she was there. She did get out her fetoscope one time and check the baby's heart tones when she first arrived. I tried to listen myself but the tubing was too short for me to reach, and Kirk tried to find it but was unable to hear anything. The baby's heart rate was good, and at around 8:30 when there was about 12 or so inches of water in the pool I decided that that is where I wanted to be. I moved to the edge of the bed and asked Kirk to check my cervix. He did and it appeared to be about 7 cms. The baby was soooo low. It actually took me about 3 contractions to get up off of the bed and into the pool, but the water immediately felt comforting. It didn't lessen the physical intensity any, but it just felt like the right place to be. There is an inflated ring around the outside bottom of the pool which was in the perfect place to provide that much needed counter pressure on my bottom.
I labored in the pool, reclining on the side, that ring providing counter pressure on my backside, for another hour or so. Every once in a while I would reach down and caress the top of the baby's head. It felt so comforting. It was amazing to feel the baby there, to know how close I was to giving birth. I had my Native American women's chants playing on the stereo, two candles burning on my birth altar. All of the other lights were off. Occasionally during that hour, my boys would wander in, give me a kiss or hug and some encouragement and then wander out again. We had bought them gifts for the birthday celebration, but decided to give them to them now. They sat beside the pool and opened their gifts, then disappeared to play with their new treasures. I didn't see them again till after the baby was born.
Shortly before 10pm I reached down to feel the baby and could feel a lip of cervix over the anterior part of the baby's head. My doula mind told me to change positions. I knew instinctively that it would move on its own, but position change would help move it. I reasoned myself onto my knees for just 3 contractions. I hated being in that position, it SUCKED and hurt like hell. I was very vocal about how terrible that position felt. My father called on the phone while I was changing positions. My stepmother who was mostly helping to fill the pool and keep the boys entertained was in the next room talking to him on the phone when I started getting really loud. After the second contraction on my knees I felt the urge to push, but I wanted to make certain that bit of cervix was out of the way. I couldn't feel it myself, so I asked Kirk to check. Just as he started to check I had another contraction that again I felt I needed to push with. The urge wasn't overwhelming, just there. I started yelling, "I can't push like this" and started to move back to a reclining position when all of a sudden I felt the baby shift, and I shouted, "Oh! Here comes the baby". I grunted involuntarily and felt his head pop out just as my backside found the pool floor. My step mother hung up with my dad saying she'd call him right back, just as I bore down. She walked in just in time to see the baby's head pop out. Kirk was behind me at that moment, helping me to change positions. He asked me where I wanted him and I yelled for him to get in front of me.
I pretty much felt nothing but the baby's head there for what seemed like forever. I couldn't lean forward to see it, and I was supporting my weight with my hands so I couldn't reach down to feel it either. I couldn't tell how much of his head was out, or how it was facing. I was starting to feel a little panicked that I wouldn't be able to push him out, because it hurt to try to push at all without a contraction, it just felt totally unnatural. I took some soothing at that point. Michielle and Kirk were talking to me, soothing me to just relax and wait for it. I felt him flutter in my belly, and shift from one side to the other, and finally another contraction came and again an involuntary grunt brought out the whole baby. Kirk caught the baby and brought it up to my belly. I was grabbing for the baby saying "give me my baby, give me my baby!".
As Kirk brought him up out of the water he announced it was a boy! We were so certain it was a girl, that I had this shocked look on my face. I said "REALLY!!!???". Once I had him in my hands it was instant love. I left him on my belly with his head lower for a moment or two till he started to cry. We had to untangle his cord a bit it was across his shoulders around the back of his neck, and also around his leg. Once we untangle him I brought him up to my breast and just smelled and kissed him. The smelling thing was soooo primal. I can't put into words the intensity of the emotion of that moment, holding my baby there at my breast, smelling and kissing him. My husband beside me in the pool stroking his back and talking to him. He pinked up immediately, and was crying lustily. He only cried for a minute or two, and once we got him covered, he settled right down and opened his eyes. He was so alert, and his facial responses were so intimate and responsive to our voices.
The boys wandered in at that point to see what all the excitement was about, they were thrilled to see the baby, but Danny was visibly dismayed that he had a baby brother rather than a baby sister. After processing it for all of about 30 seconds, he jumped up and said "What are we going to call him, Lets name him Jaysun!". Since we are Native American, and had been praying for a week for a name for the baby, we took that as a sign from Spirit that that was to be his name. Danny knows NO ONE named Jayson (of any spelling) and so it felt spirit led to us.
After about 15 minutes, when we couldn't really gauge how much blood I was loosing I decided to get out and onto the bed. I was helped out, and carried the baby with me to the bed. I felt a little light headed when I got up. I didn't have a mirror, but I knew I was positively radiant, I couldn't stop smiling. It was wonderful to sit there attached to the baby, still fortifying his little body with my own life force, but holding him in my arms. The connection was amazing. I felt the cord just before getting out of the pool and it was still pulsing.
About 20 minutes after he was born, about 5 minutes after getting out of the pool, I felt it again and it was no longer pulsing so Kirk dug out the clamps and clamped and cut the cord, so we could better wrap the baby, and I could get more comfortable. Once the cord was cut Kirk held the baby while I changed positions. He was just as profoundly effected by the whole experience as I was.
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