Kya's birth of John

~*~   ~*~   ~*~

It was 1am. Neither my DH nor I had gotten any sleep yet. I had gone to bed to relax about an hour before and the rushes had gotten closer and more intense. It was time to go.

The only thing I knew about unassisted birthing at this point was that a midwife-friend didn't think it was safe. That advice sent me to a Free-Standing Birth Center to talk to a nearby midwife. She was a waterbirth advocate with a custom-made tub in the back room of her BC. It was love at first sight for me. Waterbirthing sounded so very exotic to me at the time.

I lay in bed thinking, "I could do this here, no sweat", but the birth tub was calling me, so we packed up the kids and the candles, called my mom so she could meet us there and headed out.

2am: We arrive and attempt to settle the kids and Grandma in. Not much fun, the foldout couch in the waiting room wasn't big enough to hold the whole gang and my 2yos wanted to watch videos on the waiting room TV. I'm only 3-4cm so I walked a lot of that night, up and down the tiny hallway. By morning I was 6cm. I wasn't going home at that point but my rushes were still gentle and I got the definite feeling that I needed to perform and soon. The kids were restless and bored, not to mention my DH. Women coming in for prenatal visits were introduced to me as "Our ripe Mama". They gave me helpful tips like, "Oh, the next 2 years of your life are going to be Hell", (referring to the 2 year gap between my son and his sibling-to-be).

I spent the entire day, pacing, squatting, chanting, rocking, etc. trying to encourage my labor to speed up for everybody else's sake. I was left alone and feeling resentful a lot of the day. It was hard for my mom and DH to keep the kids occupied in a waiting room for 20 hours, much less come back and pamper me. I was lonely but my labor was gentle and constant. The expansions didn't hurt at all, they were obvious but not painful. I was stunned at 10pm when I was checked and found to be 8cm. Heck, that's already transition, right?

My CNM suggested breaking my waters as she finally felt the risk of cord prolapse was past us. I wasn't in any position to refuse anything that might hurry me along some, so I gave her the go-ahead. As soon as my bag was broken the rushes got hard. After only 3 or 4 I was (finally) ready for the birth tub.

I had set up quite a few candles around the tub earlier in the day and my DH lit them all while the water warmed up for me. It must have been about 11-11:30 when I hit the water. Oh man, was it nice!! Relaxed my muscles, calmed my nerves, defied gravity, absolutely amazing. I was free to float in between rushes with my head on the side of the pool where my DH was lovingly mopping my face with a cool cloth. Whenever a rush came on the whole room (CNM, nurse, assistant and my DH) went silent. I was able to focus on my body and my baby in peace. Then, when each rush passed I was treated to the sounds of my midwife telling a story about the good old days in California. She was allowing me to labor alone as much as possible. I felt calm and on top of each expansion. My only sound was "Oh" with an "OK" or two at each peak. I was focused on opening up and I did.

I remember my body doubling over on its own a few times. I was pushing. Well, not exactly, I was kind of experiencing my body push. I had no control over it and was totally tickled by the experience, I'd never felt this before in either of my other births. It amused me. It did not amuse my tired midwife however. She insisted that the baby had crowned already and that I had flipped over and pulled him back in. She just wanted to go home so she began directing my pushing. I felt the head descend onto my tailbone and the feeling wasn't nice. I must have broken it, I was sore for weeks afterward. My DH was directed to catch and I pushed our child into his hands. Babies are slippery, waterbabies even more so but he did a great job of bringing him up and into my waiting arms. I was thrilled.

After my previous birth I had been pretty concerned but this time around I got a glimpse of how birth could be. Simple and profound. I was hooked on birth from that day to this.

I was shocked to find out that the baby girl I had been expecting was actually a boy. We hadn't even decided on a middle name for a boy. He was just John, my son. He nursed before the cord was cut as we sat in the water together. My aftercare was a bit rushed. He was born around 12:30am and, after 24 hours at the BC, everyone just wanted to go home.

Even with the 45-minute drive home (with me staring at John the whole time and debating middle names with the DH) we were in bed by 3am. My 2yos came down with croup that night. We were off to a flying start as a family of 5.

They say everything happens for a reason and this birth had an interesting plot twist in the end I'm gonna' share. I was getting BH for a week or more before John's birth. I asked my midwife how I would know when it was time to come in. She said, "You'll just know when it's time." So at 1am, 24 hours before my baby emerged, I knew it was time. Why?

Turns out that my CNM had gotten her license suspended and didn't know it. The letter was waiting in her mailbox when she finally got home after John's birth. Had she picked up her mail before I came in to the BC she would have been unable to attend me without breaking the law. Life amazes me sometimes...

Email

~*~   ~*~   ~*~

Back to top

Back to Birth Stories