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Tanya's Birth of Ariana
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I'd been having BH for about two months and they were coming more and more frequently in the last few weeks. I was really enjoying the end of this pregnancy and not in a huge hurry for it to end, although I did start to get impatient to meet my little angel in about the last week. On Tuesday, April 4th I got my first full nights sleep in 9 months and was only up twice to go to the bathroom. That was a huge change from my normal 6-8 trips a night. I woke up rested and energetic on the 5th, so I cleaned my house vacuumed and took Lyrica for a walk in her stroller. Ariana had dropped about a week before, so walking was a little uncomfortable, but bearable. I spent the entire evening eating, from about 2PM until 5PM I did nothing but eat. I couldn't believe how hungry I was.
John came home and I made some pasta stuff for dinner (you know, throw a little of this in with a little of that....oh and that sounds good LOL) and we ate. (Yes, I ate again!) John asked me how I could fit all that into my already full belly. I just laughed and told him that I was unusually hungry that night. I had him bathe the cat and watch Lyrica while I mopped the kitchen floor. (Nothing like mopping a kitchen floor on your hands and knees to start labor). Then he and Lyrica went to bed and I stayed up a bit longer watching TV. I fell asleep on the couch and woke up about 5 am and went to bed with John and Lyrica. Another (almost) full nights rest!
I slept for about an hour and woke around 6AM. John was already awake. "Remember this time, about two years ago?" he asked. That was the morning I went into labor with Lyrica. She was born April 6th, 1998 at 3:16PM and here it was April 6th, 2000. We talked for a while, reminiscing and then John got up to get ready for work. Lyrica and I slept for a while longer. John kissed me goodbye and left for work. That was about 7:30AM.
Lyr and I got up around 8 and I made her breakfast. I wasn't really hungry, but I went ahead and made myself two waffles because I felt like I needed to eat. I got on the computer to check my email while Lyrica watched Sesame Street. At about 8:30AM I noticed that I was having contractions...and they were different from my normal Braxton Hicks. They were very easy to deal with at this point, so I just read my email and checked a few message boards. I checked the clock occasionally and they were staying anywhere from 3 to 7 minutes apart. I got off the computer and my brother called. I chatted with him for a while and then got back online.
At about 9:30 I decided that this was probably 'it' so I sent out a few email messages and called Michelle, my midwife. She told me that I sounded excited (I was) and this was probably early labor. She told me that she would call Cynthia and Sam (the other midwives) and let them know what was going on. She said that they would head this way and I told her that I would see her later. She also told me that it would probably be a good idea to call John and tell him to come home. I did that next and then got back on the computer to chat a bit more. I found that I had to get up and walk through contractions because they hurt more if I was sitting down.
By 10:30 I had gotten offline and was getting impatient for John to get home. Lyrica was demanding more attention than I could give her and every time I would start to rub my belly through a contraction she would come up to me and tell me, "No, mommy....no!" I think she knew that there was something going on. John and Cynthia showed up about the same time.
I really don't remember who got here first, but John had stopped to pick up flowers for me :) We all talked for a bit and then Cynthia used her fetoscope to listen to Ariana's heart tones. They were doing great and she asked me if I wanted her to check me. I said yes, but only between contractions. At this point my contractions were coming fairly close together but just didn't seem to be too effective. I was curious about how effective they were. Immediately after a contraction I laid down so she could check me but the internal was too uncomfortable, so I asked her to stop. She did, and told me that my cervix was still very posterior so it might help to squat through contractions. I tried it with John supporting me and found that the contractions actually felt better than way, but it was a bit hard on my legs.
I decided to get in the tub for a while to see if I could space the contractions out more to possibly make them more effective. Lyrica didn't understand why she couldn't get in with me and why I didn't want her splashing the water. She really wanted to nurse and every time one of my breasts got near her she tried to. That was really difficult to deal with. John took Lyr into the living room to distract her a bit, but that left me alone. I really wanted his support and attention through the contractions.
I got out of the tub and walked around the house for a bit, during which time, Cynthia called Michelle and let her know how everything was progressing. Michelle told Cynthia that it would be better for John and I to be alone at this point, so Cynthia told me that she had some errands to run and left. Shortly after Jami called to see how I was doing and I told her fine, but Lyrica was really hard to deal with. She offered to take Lyr to lunch and to the park. (Thank you sooooo much, Jami!). I accepted and Jami got to my house around 12:30. She took Lyr and that's when things really started to kick into high gear.
I went into the bedroom and paced and found that I wanted to be sitting on the toilet through contractions. I had poor John following me back and forth. He was so wonderful! He would rub my back while I leaned over the bed between contractions and then follow me to the toilet and stand in front of me so that I could lean on him when they peaked. The back rubs seemed to help space the contractions a little further apart, which was great because they were lasting 2 and 3 minutes at this point and double and triple peaking!
My dad showed up at about 1:15 or so and I yelled to him when he came in, "I'm naked and I don't intend on putting any clothes on... just warning you!" LOL - John said that he got a funny look on his face, so I decided that I wasn't going to go out into the living room to socialize with him, since he would be uncomfortable, which would make me uncomfortable. He watched TV in the living room by himself while John paced back and forth to the toilet with me.
Around 2PM Cynthia came back and Sam was with her. I was starting to feel slightly 'pushy' so I asked her to check me and she told me that I was around 6, probably more with a contraction. I was slightly disappointed to hear that because I had been feeling like I couldn't do this much longer for about 20 minutes at that point and figured that I had already hit transition. I knew that things would go quickly from this point though, which comforted me some.
I found that I could sit in the bean bag chair in the corner of our bedroom between contractions and John could support me in a squat during contractions. This is the chair that I gave birth in :)
Around 2:30 I started to feel very pushy and asked to be checked again. Cynthia told me that I was at about 8-9 and to just try and blow through a few contractions to let my cervix stretch that final bit. This, for me, was probably the hardest part of labor. I did this for about 10 minutes (which seemed like about 5 times that!) and then Michelle arrived.
"This baby is coming!" I told her and asked to be checked, yet again. Cynthia told Michelle that she didn't feel any cervix left and asked Michelle to confirm her findings. Michelle said that I had a tiny lip on the front of my cervix and it was starting to swell. She told me that she could hold it back while I pushed, if I wanted and I agreed. I really wanted this baby out at this point :) The next contraction, she held the lip and I pushed. I felt so good to push and Michelle to me that I was a really strong pusher.
I pushed for about 5 minutes and the contractions stopped coming. Three times Michelle had me get up and walk to the bathroom door to stir up a contraction. I didn't mind (remember, I wanted to meet my baby) and waddled back and forth. Every trip I could come back to the chair and a contraction would hit, so it seemed to be working. After about the third time, I gave a really hard push and her head started to crown. Ouch, ouch, ouch!
Michelle took a little bit of olive oil and massaged my perineum. Then Cynthia used hot compresses to support my perineum while Michelle supported the top my inner labia (towards the clitoris - which felt like they were coming apart). Ariana's head was coming out and they had me give short grunty pushes so that I would stretch and not tear. It was such a relief when her head was finally out. Of course, then there were her shoulders. I pushed them out and her body flew out. John caught her and lifted her up onto my belly. The time was 2:53PM.
She was covered in vernix and assessed to be about a 39 weeker. She also had some meconium on her and Cynthia suctioned her with a DeeLee catheter. Michelle didn't want her to breathe quite yet, but Ari had (and still has) a mind of her own and started breathing and crying right away. Her body pinked up right away but her head looked to be a bit bruised. She had the beginning of what looked to be a hematoma, so we decided to go ahead with the Vit. K shot. John and I had discussed it in advance and had decided that we were only going to do it if we felt it was warranted. She didn't even flinch at the shot. She was just looking around, taking in the world.
Once we got all the meconium out of her stomach, I was ready to deliver the placenta. The cord had stopped pulsing so we clamped it and John cut it. The I gave a few pushes and out came a huge placenta. I bled a bit more than normal (due to the large placental site) so Michelle gave me a Methergine and a shot of Pitocin. I called Jami to let her know that Ariana had arrived so that she could bring Lyrica home. They were still eating at Burger King. "Already?" she asked. "That was fast!"
I did end up tearing down my old episiotomy site and needed a few stitches, so I got up to pee first. I sat on the toilet for a while, but just didn't have to go, so I went to lie on the bed and get my stitches while John got into the bath with Ariana to get the meconium off of her. I never felt myself tear, but darn those stitches hurt!
Shortly after I got stitched up, Jami got there with Lyrica. I was trying to nurse Ariana, but she wasn't too interested at the time. John kept Lyrica out of the room for a few minutes while I tried to nurse, but since Ari wasn't too interested, I told him to bring her in. I had Michelle hold Ariana, since I didn't want a baby in my arms when Lyrica first saw me.
I was so excited for her to meet her new sister, but I don't think she really knew what to think. The look on her face was priceless. It was a "where did that come from?" type of look. We had Lyrica open her presents (we had got her some from the baby - and don't forget - it was her birthday too!) and Ariana started crying. Lyrica kept trying to give her everything, saying, "Here you go, baby." I really do have two of the sweetest girls!
Ariana Feyth was born at home into her daddy's hands at 2:53PM. She weighed 8lbs 4oz and was 19.5 inches long. She has a big head, like her daddy and it measured 14.5 inches!
The similarities between my two girls at birth are amusing. They were born 23 minutes apart with Lyrica being born at 3:16PM (two years earlier) and both measured 19.5 inches. Lyrica, however, was much smaller at only 5lbs 15 oz with a 12.75 inch head.
I loved having Ariana at home and will definitely have the next at home as well. John was wonderful and I feel that the support he gave me during my labor and birth made me love him even more, if that is at all possible.
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January 9, 2002
It's interesting, how far I've come since Ariana's birth. When I wrote her birth story, mere days after she was born, I was pleased with the whole experience. I felt liberated and strong... I felt that I had done it...
Now, looking back, there are so many things that make me angry... Especially looking at the pictures... all the hands that aren't mine touching me as I'm giving birth. I was told to push and I remember Michelle (the midwife) counting and telling me to hold it longer.. I didn't want to! I didn't feel like I needed to! I remember her tugging on the cord to the point that it snapped out of her hands after Ariana was born because she was in a hurry to get the placenta out. I was in no rush and didn't think it had been long enough..but she said it had, so I listened... I remember wanting to nurse and being told that I should wait just a bit because of the meconium.. Nursing might cause her to aspirate it.... So there I was...bleeding (most likely because the placenta wasn't completely detached when she started tugging on it) and wanting to nurse my child...instead I got a shot of Pitocin and then oral Methergine. Instead of nursing my baby joyfully, I was lying on the bed getting stitches for the tear I received (maybe because I was pushing longer and harder than I wanted to?)
When I wanted to hold my daughter, she was being weighed and measured. When I wanted to just look into her face, she was instead being cradled by strangers and being passed from the midwife to her assistants so they could see her... DAMN IT, I gave birth to her, I wanted to hold her!
I think about how her birth would've gone, if I hadn't called the midwife.. I would've done what I wanted to, WHEN I wanted to.. My husband or I would have been the very first to touch our daughter, too look into her eyes, to cradle her.. I would have been able to nurse her right away, as I had wanted to.
She had a bit of meconium at birth and the midwives used a DeeLee cath on her. I didn't have one of those, so I probably would have just used my mouth and spit out whatever I got... I know to some that sounds gross, but to me it sounds primal and beautiful. Maybe she wouldn't have had the meconium at all! Maybe she would've been born sooner since I would have pushed when my body told me to instead of waiting for someone to "check" to and tell me that I was "complete"... There are so many maybes.. but what it boils down to is: I let someone else take over my birth. I gave up my trust in my body to do what it was intended to and gave that power to someone else. I will not do that again. A quote I read once has stuck with me. "When you know better, you do better" - Maya Angelou I know better now....next time will be different...
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